Met him at the BBQ last Saturday
and it was as awkward as it could be.
We barely talk to each other
and I could feel this slimy acid
aching my heart.

I avoid eye contact,
he avoid sitting in the same table.

He came late
and left early,
he left when I was not around.

He’s not even coming to church on Sunday.

Funny how someone so close
seems so far…

Sometimes I wonder
has he ever loved me?
He never really acknowledge me
and I was wondering,
what we had,
what was that?
What was that for him
for I swear it feels like love to me.

He said he love me before,
over and over again…
Where’s the love now?
Why does it leave without saying goodbye?
I was and am unprepared…
What happened?
Nobody left me a memo
telling me it’s over,
and here I am,
writing the most pathetic self pity post
that disgust me.

I hate you.
Give me back my heart.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I hate you.
I wish I never met you,
I wish I never know you.
I hate you.
I really hate you.
Please kill me.
I hate you.
I hate you so much.
I miss you.
I hate myself for loving you.
I hate you.
I hate you.